Day 365.

The Last Day.

Here it is. The last day. The last poem. I'd better make it a good one.

Of course, this isn't really the end. It isn't the beginning either. That happened a long time ago when a very shy, little girl didn't know what to do with her thoughts and feelings and found the littlest of outputs with a pen and a notebook. That was the beginning. This is just another chapter of that story.  A story that's being written one page, one line, one word, one thought, idea, and emotion at a time.

This year, they came out in poems.

I began the year as an exercise in discipline. Simple enough - write every day. Because, you see, that shy, little girl grew up. As she did, life's distractions got in the way. It was much easier to "not do" than to "do". There would be no judging, no vulnerability and no work. There would always be ideas floating around, and some of them would occasionally make their way through that pen to that notepad (or whatever scrap of paper was nearby). Some would even be shared with friends or teachers and a handful of other trusted people, while the rest of the ideas just lingered and loitered around, taunting and begging for release but never quite forcing their way through.

That's what this was about. Open the gates. Unlock the doors. Unhinge the box. Free the beast of ideas and creation. Let it roam. Make it work. Tame it. But never put it back in the cage.

What I discovered along the way was what I had probably known from the beginning.

• I love this. This is my art.
• I am good at this.
• It's OK if I'm not sometimes.
• It's OK to be confident.
• It's OK to question myself sometimes.
• People will support you and will applaud the effort.
• Little things matter.
• Inspiration is everywhere, in everything and in everyone.
• You just simply have to look, listen and to start.

The big question seems to be if I will keep this up next year. The answer is, "no". Well, not the same way, anyway. I will absolutely keep writing, and I will keep posting, but it will change. I'm not only interested in poetry. There are more things that I need to write, including finishing some larger pieces that were started years ago. I will be working on those.

My new promise for the new year will be this - one piece of week. It may be in the form of a poem. It may be a short story or an essay, perhaps a play or a musical. It could be a chapter from a larger piece. I may also share things more frequently than once week, if the muse happens to visit. The weekly schedule should allow me time to focus on and develop ideas a bit more thoroughly as well as competing more substantial things. The daily time limit was not always a friend.

I will also be able to start reading again! All of my reading time became writing time. I need to start consuming some words so that I have more to share. (the 1/2 hour every 3rd week while getting a pedicure just wasn't cutting it.)

With all of that said, I really want to thank you. The reason I posted the poems was to keep me obligated. If no one read them, then why bother. Not only did you read them, you supported and encouraged me the whole way through.  You are a part of my growth and my journey.

So, truly - THANK YOU!

Yeah, I know. Get to the poem already. How about two to rap up the year?



Oasis

You don't have to walk for miles to find the oasis.
It will be right in front of you when you open your eyes.
It may be hard to see.
It may not be lush
with palm trees and coconuts,
mangoes and papayas
or shaded by grass huts
or be fed by cool fresh springs.
You will need to plant the seeds.
You will need to build the huts.
You will need to dig the springs.
The oasis is there.
You just have to build it.




Flicker

Flickering.
Blinking.

Just out of sight.
Just out of reach.

The wind blows.
There it is.

Then it's gone
but not forgotten.

It's just waiting
for another breeze.

Day 364

Today, I Became The Meaning of Life

If you ask me what it is,
I will tell you, "Just try."
Though I am not completely sure
that it isn't a lie.
If you ask me how I know,
I'll say, "I just do."
But you better believe it will
be different for you.
If you ask me what I feel,
I will say that it's love.
However, I'm pretty certain
it is all just fluff.
If you ask me what I want,
I will tell you it's, "Peace."
Though I think it might be
just to be free.

If you think I know
just because I am,
I'll you now,
it's only a sham
You can't know the truth
and you never will.
Just order your dinner
and pay your bill.

Day 363

Dream of Me

Dream of me when you're far away.

Create me in your world.

We'll swim the reefs of Atlantis

and climb the mountains of the moon.

Let's jump the rings of Saturn

and sail the Sea of Tranquility.

Dream of me when you're far away.

Love me when you're near.

Day 362

Quiet

Silence
Don't say a word.
Leave me to my solitude.
It is the place where I begin and end.
It is the moment when I am at most peace.
It is the time of my greatest work.
Leave me to my retreat.
Do not come near.
Isolation.

Day 361

Farewell To Love

Where did you go?
I've been searching for years.
With no words
or goodbyes, you simply disappeared.
I've looked between cracks,
around corners, in the sky,
but you're never around.
You won't grace my eyes.
I've missed you so dearly.
You were my salvation, my light.
Without you near,
there is now only night.
Without your caress,
I am captive to sorrow.
Hoping and begging,
it will all change tomorrow.
But it never does,
and you never come,
and the empty days
will never be done.

Day 360

The Water

Fill my cells until
they are busting,
and the desert that is
in my veins has flooded.
Wash down on me
and make me clean.
Take away my sins
and misdeeds.
Carry me out to sea
on rocking waves
that cradle me to sleep.

Day 359

In Love

We swung on tree swings
when we first met,
the promise of hope and
eternity in our eyes.
We held hands and giggled
as the rain soaked our hair.
We ran through hundreds of tourists
as we hurried to our train.
Time stood still
while we romped and played
and explored each other
and the world around us.
Until it jerked forward.
We awoke from our dream
and reality became our dreams.

Day 358

In the quiet hours
when the cars
have stopped driving
through the neighborhood,
and their alarms
have been silenced,
there's a peace that
covers the spirit and
washes the heart with calm.

Day 357

Entitled

How dare you accuse me of being lazy?
How dare you blame me for our governments failures?
Am I not a part of this society just like you ?
Do I not warrant a little help just like you?
Who are you to judge me from your comfy chair in your warm house?
Who are you to criticize me in my cold apartment?

I am not here because I like it.
I am not here because I haven't tried to leave.

I am here because this
mold-ridden,
rat infested,
broken elevator,
no heat,
roach trap
of a 20 story
prison cell
is all I can afford.

I take the money because
my children
will go hungry
if I don't
because their father died
serving our country
and now I am alone.

What would you do if
you woke up one morning
with a dead husband,
three children,
and you barely earned
enough to pay the electric bill
when that's all you had to pay?

What would you do if
the only thing
keeping your children fed
and a roof over their head
was a meager $500 a month?

I don't take the money because
I'm greedy or lazy or don't want to better myself.
I take it because I need it.

Why must you shame me
when I'm already on my knees?

Day 356

Winter Solace

As the temperature drops,
and the ice forms on the lake,
hold me so the only warmth
I need is from your body.
As the winds howl and rage,
and oak trees are blown over,
caress my hair so the fear
becomes a distant memory.

Day 355

I Will Live Forever

I woke up this morning.
It would be one of many
that will be the same
from this day on.

I will not die.

I will wake up each day
with the same wrinkles on my face,
with no more gray hairs on hy head,
with no weight loss or weight gain.
I will look exactly the same forevermore.

There will be no flowers at my funeral
for there will be no funeral,
no tears of sadness
or sympathetic mass cards,
no eulogy,
no words of remembrance.

There will only be
days on weeks on
years on decades
of life and joy,
anger and pain,
vengeance and forgiveness,
hate and love.

There will be nothing
I will not try.
I will travel the world
and see the sights,
climb the mountains,
sail the seven seas,
make snowballs in Antarctica.
Time will ample.

I will not fear death,
only boredom,
only sadness of
losing you from old age.

I woke up today with
all of time in my future.

Day 354

Solitary

Unknown
Never known
Can not be known
Enigma
Puzzle
Contradiction
Traveling the
Straightest line
Possible
Unraveling
Details
That never
Existed.

Day 353

Sleep, sleep, my slumbering prince.
Live in the world of dreams.
Rest, rest, my restless pumpkin.
Imagine the dreams are real.

On cotton ball clouds,
and rainbows of sugar
you play hide and seek.

Your friends will soon
find you because all of
them have peeked.

But sleep, sleep, my slumbering prince
for morning is right behind you.

Day 352

Stuck

One foot in the pool
was all it took.
The molasses thick water
would not let go.
Any attempt at pulling away
only pulled you in deeper.
The sticky substance
became a fly trap.
Unable to see the bottom,
the depth was incalculable.

Day 351

In The Reflection

In the reflection,
all is revealed.
Minor knicks become
gapping chasms.
Pores become satellite
disks in a trailer park.
Grey hairs become
an expanded Brillo pad.

In the reflection,
beauty is found.
Blue eyes twinkle like
stars in the light.
Blonde hair flows like
a horses finely groomed mane.
Red lips are
sultry in their desire.

Day 350

Look Away

I pointed my
flashlight into
every corner.
I only found
empty spaces
that longed
to once again
be shrouded
in shadows.

Day 349

Advice To The Chronically Single

Don't rush.
Don't worry.
You're still young.
It will come to you.
You have plenty of time.
It will happen when you least expect it.
Be the type of person you want to attract.
You have so much to offer.
Do things you enjoy.
Stop looking.
Get out there.
Be yourself.
Don't settle.
Don't date.
Don't try.
Date.
Try.

Believe.

Day 348

The Change

Stand Back!
she said and the
fire flew from her mouth.
The transformation was complete.
It was barely noticeable
when at first began,
although she knew
in her very essence
that something was new.
Helpless to resist,
she let the changes
wash over her.
Her blood boiled
He skin crackled
Her hair singed
She no longer recognized
her own face in the mirror.
Those around her
did not seem to notice.
They continued to see her
beautifully smooth skin
and her long, thick hair.
Indistinguishable to her ears,
her voice was as mellifluous 
as ever to others.
When the flames 
exploded from her, 
the amazement rendered
them speechless.
At that moment,
her true self was revealed.
Ashamed and relieved,
she finally embraced
her new existence.

Day 347

Short and hopefully sweet.

Cleanse

Oceans wash away
the sands at their edges,
reclaiming what once
was a part of them.

Day 346

Dear Handsome

Dear Handsome,
I loved you.
I still do.
I never told you.
I couldn't, but I think you knew.
You didn't love me.
I knew.
You couldn't, though I don't know why.
There were moments when I though you did.
I was wrong.
I wanted what you couldn't give.
You wanted nothing from me.

It hurt deeply when you pulled away.
More than you could ever know.
It still does.
I should be over this now.
I'm not.
The wounds are somehow
still fresh after all this time.

I often wonder what I could have
done to change your mind.
I know the answer is "nothing".
I often wonder if you think
of me now with fondness.
I hope there are times you do.

When I hear your name,
When I see your face,
When I feel any of the things
that made you who you are,
I am on the verge of tears
for the "could have been".
I am torn in two
through your heart.

Losing the love
I never had has
hurt more than
any other love
I've lost.

Day 345

Empty

The all consuming chasm
that is my soul
can not be sated.
The more I give,
the more it wants.
A bottomless pit
fueled by emotions,
it steadily expands.
The more it grows,
the more I shrink.

Day 344

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry.
I seem to have forgotten
the memories you
hold so dear,
the times you held
my hand and
whispered in my ear.

I'm sorry.
I seem to have forgotten
the nights when
we laughed til dawn,
the day when
you wrote me that song.

I'm sorry.
I seem to have forgotten
the journey we made
that sealed our love,
the year you were all 
I thought of.

I'm sorry.
I seem to have forgotten
the joys you claim,
the silly pet name,
the love you feel,
that it was real.

Day 343

The End

Lying supine on a pee-stained mattress,
wrappers from last week's candy surround,
ash cans littering the room overflow with butts and crumbled tissues.
He weeps.
Curled in a ball, knees cradled in his arms,
the smell of vomit and sweat thickens the air,
windows painted black create permanent night.
He laughs.
Needle dangling from a collapsed vein,
rubber tourniquet tightening circulation,
euphoria washes through his mind, body and soul.
He dies.

Day 342

This is another one of those with a concept I have in mind. Others may come with a similar theme.

Depth

You've painted oceans
white with hundreds of waves
crashing down on one another,
dozens of ships dotting the expanse
with their propellers chopping below,
and seagulls circling overhead,
hunting for their next meal.
You can not see beneath
the blue-black water.

Day 341

Where There's Smoke

There's a fire in her eyes tonight,
fueled by alcohol and loud music.
There's no telling where the night will lead
when the flames burn hot,
consuming her from the inside out

There's a fire in her soul tonight,
fueled by lost loves and broken promises.
There's no telling where the night will lead
as the flames rage high,
consuming every bit of her,
leaving only ash and embers.

Day 340

You Know Nothing

You think I am shallow
because I care how I look.
You think I am dumb
because I am blonde.
You think I am smart
because I wear glasses.
You think I am lazy
because I am fat.
You think I am insecure
because I wear makeup.
You think I am arrogant
because I stand proud.
You think I am apathetic
because I don't fight back.
You think I am stubborn
because I do.
You think I am complacent
because I am content.
You think I am finicky
because I am not.
You think I am odd
because I dress different.
You think I am plain
because I dress the same.
You think I am picky
because I don't like what you do.
You think I am unoriginal
because I do.

Your judgement is obvious.
Your disdain apparent.
Your ignorance blinding.

Day 339

Demon

Go now.
Leave us.
Never come back.
Your vicious words
and horrible lies
have gone on far too long.
The poison you feed us
has lost its disguise of sweetness.
Its true bitterness has surfaced
and can never be untasted.
The nausea it has left behind
will never be abated.
Leave us.
Go now.

Day 338

Who Are We?

If you open your eyes,
you'll see it.
How could you not?
It's everywhere.
The hatred.
The anger.
The prejudice.
The violence.
The fear.
The bias.
The frustration.
These are not
the hallmarks
of a society
that claims
to have evolved;
of a society
that claims,
"Give me 
your tired, 
your poor, 
your huddled masses 
yearning to breathe free."
You can bring 'em.
What happens to 'em
once they get here,
well that's a whole
other story.

Day 337

When I Have Forgotten You

I look at your face,
but I do not see you.
A tiny hint of the familar
makes me tilt my head.
It does not help.
Your voice is soothing.
It speaks such lovely words,
but its melody is
new music to my ears.
I lean in to listen.
It does not help.
Your touch is warm
as you take my hand
between yours.
The caress tells me you care.
I return your grasp
to bring you closer.
It does not help.

Day 336

I walk. I think.

I walk.
I think.
The music plays,
a constant in my mind.
I reminisce.
I weigh the future.
I plan conversations
I will never have.
I replay ones I did.

I walk.
I think.
The distance behind,
a blurry memory.
The stretch ahead,
exhaustingly long.
I take stock of
the choices
I have made.

I walk.
I think.
I convince myself
to make the changes
I know I never will.

Day 335

Can You Feel The Pressure?

Gases collide and air expands,
caught in an ever changing vortex,
pulling you one way, then the other,
collapsing down on you,
smashing into you,
crushing you,
until the weight is too much to bear.
You implode from the force.
You fall back and watch as
your pieces are shattered inward.
They clang and scrape against
each other then settle to rest.
They once again become one,
certain the pressure will turn them
into diamonds.

Day 334

Ah... Paris

Je veux
marcher dons vos rues
visiter vos musées
manger vos cuisines
respirer vos air
regarder votre tour
écrire dans vos magasins de café
trouver l'amour dans vos parcs.
Je vais vous rendre visite bientot.

Day 333

Run, run, run
as fast as you can
Through the fire
and the rain
Through the tears
and the pain.
Run, run, run
as fast as you can
To the love
and the comfort
To the sun
and the warmth.

Day 332

Changes

Travel back in time
and change the future.
That's what you want to do.
Make it all better.
Change the choices.
Begin again.

The sun will still shine.
The leaves will still fall.
The snow will still drift.

You will still be you.

Day 331

This was yesterday's writing. By the time I went to enter it, both my iPad and I were dead.

Gluttony

You can't eat another bite
but do anyway.
The food beckons to you
as if it were a new experience
that will cease to exist
the moment you look away.
With every forkful,
a piece of your soul
bloats beyond recognition.
It expands to allow even
more in even though it knows
regret will come.

Day 330

Inspired by the events in Ferguson, St Louis.


I, Looter

Simmer.
Bubble.
Boil.
Seethe.
Erupt.
Vengeance is mine.

Day 329

Obsession

You
are all
I think about
every hour of
every day
every detail
of your face
etched into
my psyche
before my eyes
open in the morning
I only think of
you
your voice
your hair
your skin
your tattoos
in my mind
you
are mine
I will have
you
every piece of
you
I will never hurt
you
or abuse
you
or betray
you
or let
you
go
before my eyes
close at night
I imagine
you
beside me
holding me as
I hold
you
I can see in
your eyes that
you
are right where
you
need to be
With me.
Forever.

Day 328

I worked a little more on the one from yesterday. Perhaps there is still more to come.


Remnants of granite mountainsides,
excavated for low maintenance counters,
defy erosion
while homes are abandoned
and children are homeless.
Stumps of hemlock forests,
felled for outdated encyclopedias,
sit in wait
while teachers are fired
and ignorance is accepted.
Slivers of wheat fields,
reaped for thrown away cereal,
shudder in silence
while obesity expands
and anorexia is the ideal.

Day 327

I don't know about this one. It needs to go somewhere, but I'm not sure where. More to come, perhaps.


Remants of granite mountainsides,
excavated for low maintenance counters,
defy erosion.
Stumps of hemlock forests,
felled for outdated encyclopedias,
sit in wait.
Slivers of wheat fields,
reaped for thrown away cereal,
shudder in silence.

Day 326

Eyes closed.
Body supine.
Brain awake.

Day 325

Freedom

The shadow of your intolerance
suffocated my heart
and drowned my spirit.
Incapable of rebelling,
I subconsciously succumbed
and set my self aside.

Day 324

This is the first iteration of  an idea I want to develop. You will likely see something similar at a later time.


Freedom

Latent forces melt away.
Subconscious insecurities are shed.
All becomes clear.

Day 323

Anticipation

She watched the mountain pass below her feet.
People like mice, scurried left to right.
The clang of the rope crossing the pole startled her.
The car climbed higher and higher,
and the damp in her bones grabbed hold.
The sun was not strong enough to warm her.
She could not yet see the top of the mountain,
but her heart skipped at the impending dismount.
Once she reached the top, it would begin.

Day 322

Sun Beam

As I opened my eyes
from the dark,
the light was blinding.
I blinked away the haze
but still could not see.
The days of shadow
were not ready to
set me free.
I struggled to my feet
and knew that if I could
just start moving,
just stumble toward
the warmth of the light,
I would regain my sight.
I just had to move.

Day 321

The Cave

Tucked away on the
side of the mountain
where the sun rearly shines,
is a cave.
It is barely visible
as you pass by,
but stay a little longer,
and it will reveal itself.
The entrance is enticing and
beckons you in without a sound.
Once inside, it is familiar,
a place you're certain
you've visited before.
The beauty is intoxicating and
must be explored as it
draws you in deeper.
The further you go,
the more you know that
you must not be here.
Although it pulls you in,
seems to need you,
you do not belong here.
Turn and run,
but you will only
see darkness.
The only escape has closed,
and you are trapped forever.
The cave laughs and rejoices
at its capture
as tears stream
down your face.
Now, you remember.

Day 320

Troubled Head 

As the day unfolds
and the stories told,
the pain, it grows even stronger.
When the nighttime falls
and sleep's song calls,
the days, they grow ever longer.
As the chaos stills
and you lose your will
the noise in your head grows stronger.
When the daylight breaks
and it's time to wake,
you yearn for night to be longer.

Day 319

A Heart's Syncopation

The steady rat-a-tat-tat
of a beating heart
shifted out of sync
by a lover's embrace.
The smooth flow
of blood through the veins
interrupted by
a sudden gush of endorphins.
Life's very essence in peril.

Day 318

Release

Busy days turn into busy nights.
Purple and red sunsets give way to city lights.
The chaos of a regimented day
steps aside for inhinbition free play.

Day 317

I Don't Believe in Advice

The advice I would give
if I had to give advice
would be do not ask for
and do not give advice.
Whatever your choices,
you are the one to choose.
Accept their outcomes
if you win or if you lose.

Day 316

The words are out there
to say what needs to be said,
but they are scrambled
and flitting around in my head.
Vague insinuations
of ideas skating by
while the light of
inspiration blinds my eye.

Day 315

Relive

The stories of years ago
are once again at the front
of my mind.
I am revisiting the places
I left behind on an
eight hour flight.
People are in my lfe
that I assumed
had forgotten me.
I become old and young
at once.

Day 314

Tomorrow is Veteran's Day. I thought I'd try another military themed peom.

Short Timer's Disease

Your time is almost up.
You can think of nothing else.
You obsess over plans and paperwork,
making sure every T is crossed
and every I is dotted.
You fill out one form to fill out another.
You go to this office to get to that one.
Your bags are packed.
Your boxes are stacked.
You can all but envision
your parents' faces when
you walk through the door.

Your bunkmate is jealous
to be left behind.
Your friends say they'll
call from time to time.
You've lived with them,
worked with, ate with,
vacationed with them.
They are all you've known.
The sadness creeps in.

You focus on the forms, the bags
and the family you'll see.

You've woken every morning
to the sound of the trumpet.
You've put on your uniform
and stood in formation.
You've marched, saluted, pushed up
and done side straddle hops every day.

You've been in this vaccuum
of rules and regulations.
The seal will soon be broken
and the air will rush in.

Will you breathe deeply and
become alive again?
Will you breathe deeply and
pass out from the rush?

Day 313

I paint it to life.
The world is my creation.
My ocean. My soul.

Day 312

Song of a Memory

All it takes is a
simple
three
note
chord
to evoke the
complex
memory
of you.

I am back in time.
Back in your arms.
Back on your doorstep.
Back in the joy.
Back in the pain.

The lyrics are perfect.
I wish they were my own.

A long lost love for a
certain turn of phrase
overtakes my senses.

I shed a tear
for a sadness
I haven't felt in years.

I break a smile
for the peace
I now have.

In three short minutes,
I relive a lifetime.

It all begins with a
simple
three
note
chord.

Day 311

The Tiger

I know this place.
I know this town.
I know that river
and the path we found.
I've been here before,
many years ago.
I have something to say,
things you should know.
My father and I,
we hunted big game.
We loved all the animals
just the same.
We chased a big cat
through to this town.
We followed and tracked it
and hunted it down.
When the time came
to take the big shot,
we knew right then
we just could not.
We put down our guns,
but it was too late.
My father could see
this was his fate.
The tiger attacked
with all of its might,
snarling and growling
and waking the night.
I ran away crying,
back to the hut.
My feet were on fire
I just could not stop
but close to the door,
I suddenly fell.
I twisted my ankle
and let out a yell.
Where had I dropped?
What did I hit?
The hunter now hunted
I was in a tiger pit.
A rescue would come
but not for many days.
I'd go back to life.
I'd change my ways.
I was a fatherless son
and a hunter no more.
Life is for living,
to love and explore.

Day 310

I walk down the avenue,
looking up at the buildings.
The stories, the people.
The people and the stories.
Millions and millions of
thoughts waft through the air,
floating around, in and out
of the man-made canyons.
They circle up and back,
hitting you from behind
when you least expect it.

Day 309

Waiting

Waiting for the light to flash.
Waiting through the blinding dark.
Waiting for the flood gates to open.
Waiting for the beauty to emerge.

Day 308

I Am Perfect

There are no mistakes
I have not made.
The path behind me is
flooded with tears
that are not my own.

I am perfect.

Scars from my blade
cut deep in those that
dare to be near me.
Puddles of poisonous words
are like pock marks
across the grass.

I am perfect.

I can not control
my thoughts or my actions
when the thunder rolls
or the lightening strikes.
I can only step aside and
watch the destruction.

I am perfect.

There is a soft spot
buried deep inside.
It is small and shy
and has been in hiding
for as long as I can remember.

I am perfect.

I was once a good person
who loved and shared
and cared about others,
but anger, pain and resentment
have amputated the arms
with which I reached out.

I am perfect.

There will be time when
the despair will be overshadowed
and I will forgive myself
for the mistakes I've made
and the pain I have caused.

I am perfect.

I will rise again,
reborn from hatred into
love, kindness and acceptance.
For the road I have traveled
has made me who I am.

I am perfect.

Day 307

Not A Dream

When I awoke,
you were at my bedside.
You held my hand
and said you've
been right here all along.

Day 306

Pillow Talk

With the star light seeping through
the slightly drawn curtains, we embrace.
Your body caresses every inch of mine
while your fingers twirl a tress of my hair.
You whisper in my ear, "Tell me a secret",
and then you gently kiss my lobe.
I do not hesitate to open my heart
and share everything with you.
You brush the hair from my face
and pull me in closer as I talk of
the pain of a broken childhood.
You laugh, and I feel your
chest rise and fall as I describe
the silly way I became a woman.
You do not judge. I can feel it.
Through the warm, abiding blanket of your body you comfort me and accept me.
I know that I will never be alone again.

Day 305

You and Your Kind

I will not learn your ways.
Ignorance is so much easier.
I will accept the propaganda
without a second guess.
I will hate you for your name,
forgetting the history of my own.

Day 304

Still Beautiful

A dahlia with a missing petal
remains delightfully full.
A blue sky with a cloud overhead
remains magnificent.
A meal without dessert
remains deliciously sating.

Day 303

The End

The looming dark overhead
will fall
and the daylight
will die
Your darkest nightmares
will wake
and you will sleep no more
Your fears will be fed
and your reason starved
until all that remains is your
throbbing heart
pried wide eyes
and claw marks on the wall.

Day 302

Where Were You?

She longed for him to come to her side
to help her through life's toughest journeys
to protect her during times of troubles.

She knew he was incapable of these things
for he had never experienced them himself
for he was barely able to survive on his own.

Yet she couldn't help but feel angry and betrayed.
She couldn't help but feel abandoned and disappointed.
Her expectations repeeatadly unmet.

Day 301

Do not look at the shadow
in the corner of your eye.
For it is shyer than you think
and will disappear from view.
It survives only on your fear.

Day 300

Here we are at another milestone! 300!! I can not believe I've been able to keep this up. I have found inspiration in many places, some expected, some not so much. This is a sort of ode to those inspirations, wherever they were found.


How The Words Come

A passing phrase
A subtle change in weather
A speeding car
A shocking news story
A friend's struggle
A friend's joy
A stranger's name
A lover's kiss
A lover's goodbye
A hateful comment
A warm embrace
A soldier's sacrifice
A mother's love
A poet's promise.

Day 299

What Side of the Revolution Will You Be On?

When the fighting starts
will your principles uphold?
Do you even have any?
What about your passions?
Ethics?
A moral compass that you follow
along the roads of right and wrong?
Will your fear take hold
and paralyze you?
Or will your fear empower you?
What is your fear, anyway?
What would be your
Hell on Earth?
Your paradise?
Will your hatred be set free
upon your perceived enemies?
Who are your enemies, anyway?
Or will your hatred be replaced with
love and understanding?
For you are both in the same battle,
undergoing the same traumas,
fighting for your beliefs.
Are they truly your beliefs?
Or are they the beliefs that
have been imposed upon you,
emblazoned into your psyche,
etched in your soul
by external forces?
What are your true beliefs?
Do you even know?
What is it that keeps you
awake at night
when all the world is still?

When the battle begins,
will you allow
the anarchists
with their violent ways
to take control?
The very control they
are fighting against.
Will you allow
the artists
and their free-spirited,
naive notions of
love and peace and acceptance
to take control?
As if they would even
want to control anything.
Will you allow
the rule makers
with their self-aggrandizing,
egotistical ways
to take control?
Haven't they had
control long enough?

Will you at least
attempt to understand
why the other side fights?
Or will you be so blinded
by your own obsessions
that you only see them
as the enemy and nothing more?
Will you speak
the truth
no matter how
well or ill received it may be?
Or will you speak lies,
spread fear and hate
to win favor and power
over those around you?

What are the choices you will make?

Day 297

The Photograph

The photo you took
has revealed me.
It pried deep beneath
the layers of makeup
the volumes of hair product
the smoke and mirrors of clothes
and the face of false confidences
to reveal the
old, ugly, fat
insecure person
that has been
forced into hiding.

Day 296

Lost In Translation

Words come out
a little too terse.
Thoughts
abbreviated
by the pen.
Full, fluid, flourished
opinions and feelings
become most unimportant
in the ink.
Verbalizing the
chaos, creation and cacophony
in the soul
diminishes
its very existence.
Ideas...
desires...
hide behind...
a wall of words
that must be demolished
brick... by
unbearable...
brick.

Day 295

At Peace in the Dark

The cool shadows
calm the restless spirit.
The silence
frees the ringing ears.
They create their own music.
The darkness
relaxes the distracted mind.
It creates its own thoughts.

Day 294

A Good Night's Sleep

Laundromat.
One AM.
No one but me.
And the homeless man asleep under the table.
I load a month's worth of fashions
into the washers.

Laundromat.
Three AM.
No one but me.
And the homeless man asleep under the table.
I remove my toasty clean clothes
from the dryers
and return home to
hang them in my closet
fold them into my drawers
put on fresh pajamas
and sleep in my cozy bed.

Laundromat.
Four AM.
No one but the homeless man asleep under the table.

Day 293

Night Trip

highway
one am
no one but me
reflective lines
glow ahead
the visual tick of
miles traveled
there is no horizon
only the point
at which the
lines disappear
into the abyss
until the headlights
draw them from
the depths of
their obscurity
lines flick by
as they shoot
at me from
complete darknessa life sized game
of asteroids
I am the alien invader.

Day 292

Wait it Out (or Trust)

Lava creeps down the mountainside.
It inches along, bubbling, brewing, melting
flora, fauna, stone and steal beneath.
All become one under the
destructive warmth of its blanket.

The people at the foot of the mountain
know their fate is coming,
but yet they stand defiant,
certain it will not destroy them.
They know that it will stop
when it is meant to stop.

Day 291

Beautfiul black and white patterns
obscured by the black stripes of a steel cage.
Fresh air and fresh stalks
replaced by circulated wind and imported bamboo.
A simple life of leisure
halted by the pressured eyes of zoologists.
Ever sad eyes
glance up
through unending
black holes
longing for peace.

Day 290

Silence

The shadows through my window
danced as the gnarled branches
that remained bare long after
fall's departure swayed
in the breeze.
The branches tapped my window
in a rhythmic melody
with the urgency of
a trapped soul.
But tonight,
The shadows are still.
The branches are silent.
The air is thick.
This would be the last night
the spirits would visit.

Day 289

Come To Me

From far away
I can feel you.
You breathe,
And the wind blows.
My air draws thins
As you inhale.

If you reach out,
I will stretch out to you.
I will pull you
In to me
And breathe in
As you exhale.

Day 288

Trust me when I say that there is actual meaning to this. It is not literal. It is not figurative. It is not symbolic. Don't try to figure it out, though. It only makes sense in my head. And maybe one other person will get it. You know who you are. :)


Candy cane popsicles fly by
a rainbow of blue and orange
sugar melted and reformed
into shapes and sizes
unrecognizable
while mountains of tar and
jellybean sandals
follow behind
with a wishing well
filled with the
hopes and dreams
of a long forgotten
conscious.

Day 287

The Temple

There is a temple at which
many have preyed.
It is a grand old building
filled with his sotry.
The stones of its foundations
were laid with love.
The vines on its walls
caress its corners.
Beyond its doors
awaits sweet release,
For many have sinned
to gain entry.

It is a place where
life begins
And where
life can end.
It is kept hidden, yet
all are welcome.

The believer will enter
with humility.
The skeptic,
with bravado.
Neither will
appreciate
its beauty.

Day 286

Backstory...
They replaced three dead bulbs in the light fixture over my head at work. I did not need these lights replaced. I did not ask for them to be replaced. There are 3 other light fixtures in my area, all within 10 feet. Directly overhead, however, it was dark. I loved it. It made for a cozy little spot in a fluorescent world. 2 full work days later, and the sun-bright rods of death are still there. I have had a headache for 2 days. I have requested for them to be removed. I truly hope that is the case.

Light of Pain

Dear fluorescent light,

The plants may love you,
But I do not.
You think you fill my life with light,
But you blind me.
Your neon blanket of glare
Constricts my head.
You are just doing you but,
But you are fired.

Sincerely,
Everyone whe ever worked in an office.



(update - the lights have been removed!all is right with the world. at least in my little 8x8 desk area of the world.)

Day 285

Ode to The Boob Tube

The TV calls to me
beckons to share with me
it's stories
it's lies
it's truths.

Day 284

What Really Happened

I told you to shut up
and to get your things and leave.
You told me you were sorry
and that you'd never hurt me.
I told you I didn't believe you
and that it was the last straw.
You told me it was a mistake
and it would never happen again.
I told you to forget it
and to get out of my house.
You left.
I cried.

What really happened.

I asked you what happened.
You lied.
I said OK.
You stayed.
I cried.

Day 283

Inspiration

In the blink of an eye
or the flip of a switch.
On the road less traveled
or the crowded subway.
In a NYC minute
or a long, lazy stroll.
It can hit like lightning
or creep in like the tide.
When it arrives,
it must be let in.

Day 282

Memories hit the soul
like a Yankees baseball bat.
A ball of emotions explodes
like a super nova.
A galaxy of insecurities crashes down
like rusted scaffolding on a skyscraper.
Survival walls crumble
like stale chocolate cookeis.
Anger heats ups
like a volcanic fissure.
Words of hate bubble up
like a rumbling belly.
Acid eats up your insides
like Joey Chestnut at Coney Island.
A rollercoaster ride
takes you right back
to the moment it all began.

Day 281

Unrequited

She entered the diner
with an ache in her heart.
Her love had not been
requited.
For years, she held out
hope that he would see
her feelings were
genuine.
He never saw her as real,
or what she had to offer.
He was always looking just
beyond.
His life had taken him
down many roads of pain.
Many times, he had been
betrayed.
She knew of his sorrow.
It's what she loved most.
She knew she would be his
salvation.
She saw them together,
deep in her soul in visions
so clear, they were not merely
imagination.
They were together in a bar,
huddled together in a dark corner,
lit only by flickering
candlelight.
They were on a long drive
to a vineyard where they'd
been a dozen times
before.
But she would not know
how it feels to be with him
through life's moments of
joy.
She would not know
what it would be like
to walk holding
hands.
She would only know
the sadness deep inside
her dark, broken
heart.

Day 280

Baggage

There is room 

in my closet

for a suitcase

filled with memories

of a jaded past

from a well explored life.

Day 279

I've been pushed aside forever;
Ignored for just as long.
I've not been taught to love you.
I'm forever doing it wrong.

I beckon to my master,
"Come teach me what you can",
But master keeps on walking.
His love, he'll never show.

I wait for it to find me,
To reach and grab my hand,
But it just goes on running
Laughing, "Catch me if you can!"

I've been sitting here forever;
Alone for just as long.
I've not been given true love.
Tell me where did I go wrong?

Day 278

Meow

A cozied up cat
in a curled up corner,
sleeping the day away,
with a catnip mouse
and a dish of tuna,
there's no better way to lay.

Day 277

This was a challenge from a friend.  It's kind of a work in progress. I think I can do something else with the conecpt, but this is a start.


Cup Of Tea

Try the drinks before you.
You'll like one, you'll see.

Try the left.
Try the right.
But drink them down,
And drink them fast,
Before they fade out of sight.

Try the drinks before you.
One just might be your
perfect
cup of tea.

Day 276

Sinking down
down to the ground
settling in
down to the ground
Sinking down.

Swirling around
round and round
up and down
round and round
Swirling around.

Floating away
up, up and away
flying high
up, up and away
Floating away.

Day 275

My pen writes
the words in my head
from the feelings in my heart.

Day 274

Summer's
warm, comforting
caress
releases my hands
to receive
fall's
cold, sharp
embrace.

Day 273

Here's the rest of yesterday's poem.

The Moon and The Cemetery

The village was filled with ancient buildings.
Buildings that existed before the war.
Buildings that were rebuilt as exact replicas.
The fall weather was spectacular.
The sky was clear.
The wind nonexistent.
The cemetary was even more ancient
than the surrounding buildings.
Plots with dates from over a thousand years ago.
Plots that were overgrown and barely recognizable.

The cryptic engravings over deteriorating mausoleums 

create fear and wonder in passers by.

The watch tower, slowly losing its foundation,

leans towards the moon as it

illuminates the stone markers of 

lives long since forgotten.

Day 272

There will be more to this, but I need more time. And, tonight I took some night time cold medicine; my time is limited.



The village was filled with ancient buildings.
Buildings that existed before the war.
Buildings that were rebuilt as exact replicas.

The fall weather was spectacular.
The sky was clear.
The wind nonexistent.

The cemetary was even more ancient
than the surrounding buildings.
Plots with dates from over a thousand years ago.
Plots that were overgrown and barely recognizable.

Day 271

Solitude

She walked alone.
The road was beautiful,
castles on the left
across the water,
vineyards to the right,
up the imposisbly steep hill.
The machines of industry just below.

She loved being alone.
The rest of her time was
filled with people
and responsibilities,
with noise and fear
of being discovered as not belonging.
Her weekly walks became the
only time she could be herself.

Day 270

The tracks stretch out to the horizon
Trees tower along the side
bands of gold, red and purple cut across the sky
a car drives by.

Day 269

Put Aside

My things were
in a chest
in a closet.
Their disarray
tucked away.

My life was
in a series of
three by three
drawers.

Day 268

A baby cries.
The kind of cry that will make it
impossible for her to ever have
a mellifluous singing voice.
A girl is nauseous.
The kind of nausea that grabs hold,
spins you, twirls you, shakes you and
makes it impossible to even lift your head.
A woman sleeps.
The kind of sleep that is impossible
without the help of hunger, exhaustion and
a steady morphine drip.

Day 267

Key West

Hundreds slowly converged
On the concrete boardwalk,
Hoping to see the green sun.
Musicians played jazz in the distance.
Across the water, ships floated,
Oblivious to the improvised notes.

Day 266

Restroom Rancor

A bald, black woman
stood at the far end of the line sinks,
fixing herself,
washing her face,
freshening up.
She smoothed lotion over her
already smooth scalp,
the remnants of hair just visible
in a 3 o'clock shadow.

A drunk, white woman
stood at the front of the line for the toilets,
grabbing herself,
mussing her hair,
cursing aloud.
She hurled insults at the
bald, black woman,
bragging about her own beautiful,
bedraggled hair.

The bald black woman
just kept looking forward
and mumbled a passive retort under her breath.
Our eyes met while I washed my hands.
She apologized to me. I didn't need it.
I understood exactly.

She was beautiful.

Day 265

Dark Train

The train sways left and right
when the lights go out.
Conversations cease for a moment.
An iota of an inkling of fear creeps in.
Purses are held just a little bit tighter.
Emergency signs glow with their warnings.
Neon exits beckon with their simple command.
The only lights in the darkness.
The train sways left and right.

Day 264

Insecurity of Insecurity

When morning first comes

and the alarm rings,

I know it simply won't wake.

It will be an hour of

snoozing and curling up cozy 

before the noise will take.

When I pick out my clothes

and try them all on,

I know I'll hate how they fit.

It will be combos of shirts

and jeans and skirts.

Somedays, I just want to quit.

When I put on my makeup

and think it looks nice,

by noon, I'll see all its flaws.

It'll run. It'll fade

and I'll look like a whore.

I'll doubt what beauty I saw.

When the day ends

and I'm heading home,

I'll be happy to wash it away.

I'll wonder and I'll worry 

that everyone could see

how imperfect I felt all day.

Day 263

A Fever Dream in Reality

A chorus of lobsters
sing thier best Queen
while salmon sing Pavoratti.
A pedal powered crocodile
with a tick tock belly
zigs and zags
around cardboard dinosaurs.
A two story metal and glass giraffe
with lava lamps for ears
rolls by the
Santa in hot pants
while a helix of plastic
looks on in repurposed silence.
Octopi grow out of thin air
while drones fight in a cage.
A wall of moving penises
dances in a private tent.
Ahhh..... science.

Day 262

I'll do more on this tomorrow. For tonight, I must sleep.

What a day of
Sights and sounds.
With crazy robotics and
Crafty humanoids all around.

Day 261.

The death of my sister, Kathie, was the most life altering thing that has ever happened to me and my family. If anyone is the survivor of a suicide, you know exactly what I mean. It's devastating. There is nothing that can heal that wound. You only learn how to deal with it over time, and hopefully you learn how to use that pain toward something positive.

Kathie was 25 when she died. Today is the 25th anniversary of that day. That's pretty monumental.  I didn't realize that when I set out on my poetry journey this year. In fact, I didn't even realize it until about an hour or so when I sat down to write today's poem. I'm glad that is. It means that I get to share these thoughts with all of you.  Thank you. For everything.



25

Today,
You have been gone
as long as
You were alive.

In the before
You were a daughter
You were a dancer
You were a student
You were a soldier
You were a mother
You were a sister
You were a friend
You were a lover
You were a ray of sunshine
when we were in darkness.
You were a beautiful face
with a beautiful soul.

In the after
You are a memory
You are a reminder
You are a ghost
You are a feeling
You are an inspiration
You are a distraction
You are perfect
You are a burden
You are a shadow of doubt
in the afternoon sun.
You are a dagger
straight through the heart.



25 (2)

The feeling of time passing
as a lifetime means
nothing when it actually is.



25 (3)

In the time that you've been gone
I've cried
I've yelled
I've loved
I've hated
In the time that you've been gone
I've learned
I've lead
I've failed
I've waited
In the time that you've been gone
I've lived.



Twenty Five Years of Life and Death

A tiny baby girl that arrived too soon
Dancing in tutus
Plaid pants that sat way too high
Silly faces
A broken tooth that was fixed poorly
Frizzy hair
A commitment to Uncle Sam
Mean men
A blonde baby boy
Diapers
Struggling to make ends meet
Filthy apartment
Deep pain that could never be healed
Broken inside
A beautiful woman that left too soon
Goodbye.

Day 260

NineOneNineEightNine

Nine
I'll never stop missing you.
One
Every day, you're in my thoughts.
Nine
I'll never understand
Eight
The pain you carried.
Nine
It's not for me to know.

Day 259

When I Walked Through The Door

When I walked through the door,
you grabbed me, pulled me to you.
I was a life preserver in a deserted ocean.
You kissed me, drank me in.
I was ice water in a barren desert.
You wrapped me in your arms.
I was a teddybear with which you could not bare to part.
You filled my mind, heart, soul.
I was yours forever.

Day 258

I wanted this to be more, but after about an hour of attempting various directions, I think I'm just going to leave it at this.


Around The World

The box arrived at her doorstep
in the late afternoon.
It was full of possibilities
that would simply have to wait.
She would be the latest stop
on its journey.

Day 257

Where Were You

when it counted?
when I needed you?
when I was lost?
when I cried?
when I failed?
when I succeeded?
when I couldn't do it on my own?
when it mattered most?

Day 256

You Won.

You reeled me in
with your eyes of longing,
with your passionate kisses at the door,
with your desperation for me.

You broke me
with your lies and truths,
with your pushing and pulling,
with your cryptic feelings.

You scarred me
with the misstated future you promised,
with the hate daggers you threw,
with the transparent bandages you offered.

You won.
I stopped expecting kindness.
I stopped asking for more.
I stopped looking for love.

Day 255

You always thought I asked for too much
when all I ever wanted was love.
You always thought I cared too much
when all I ever wanted was deceny.

You always pushed me away
when I got too close
then pulled me in
when I turned away.

You always wanted nothing of me
when I would've given you everything.

Day 254

Morning

The alarm rings softly,
A tune I chose myself.
It's a beautiful little melody
That gently sings me awake.
I snooze.
The second time the alarm rings louder,
A mediocre melody I chose myself.
It's a lovely little tune
That taunts me awake.
I snooze.
The third time the alarm sounds,
It's the same melody as before.
I no longer claim the tune
That threatens me awake.
I snooze.
The fourth time the alarm blares,
It's the same annoying melody.
I vow to change the beeping
That forces me awake.
I snooze.

Day 253

Today is 9/11. I couldn't stop at just one poem. 2 of these are inspired by the same moment. I was driving into Brooklyn for a candle light vigil on the first Friday after. I had a very emotional moment along the way. The others speak for themselves.

If you are sensitive to 9/11, please read with caution. Some of the phrases may not be easy to take.


Smoke Towers

I saw the smoke
As I rounded the corner.
My spirit caught
Inside my breath.
Suspended.

The grey consumed me
As I watched the plumes.
My world insignificant
On the side of the road.
Paralyzed.

We suffered through the aftermath,
As our world crumbled.
Our cozy existence
Lieing in pieces.
Shattered.



On The Belt

It caught me off guard
When I rounded the corner.
That stretch of the Belt
Would never be the same.
I had never even known
You could see them from there.

The plumes of smoke,
110 stories high,
Overtook the panorama.
Their arms billowing toward New Jersey.
A horrible, upside-down Tetris block.

I could not breath.
I could not think.
I sat on the shoulder
Sobbing uncontrollably.


Gone

We would never be the same.
All those people.
Dead.
All those people.
Petrified.
Putrified.
Solidified.
Smoldering.
Buried.
Gone. Forever.
We would be at war.
More people would die.
People like me.
People like them.
Soldiers.
Innocents.
Violence would be commonplace.
Hatred.
Anger.
Vengeance.
All those people.
All of those people.
Gone.
In a plume of smoke
Over New Jersey.


I Was Sleeping

I was sleeping when
The plane hit the first tower.
I was sleeping when
The plane hit the second tower.
I was sleeping when
The plane hit the Pentagon.
I was sleeping when
The plane was forced
Into the ground by a
Group of unassuming civilians.
They were not sleeping.
They will forever be at rest.

Day 252

Panic

When I opened my eyes

I only saw darkness

Pitch black

Unending

Tar black

Darkness

My breath stopped

Out of my control

My heart beat frantically

The pitter tat tat of a millions drums

When I lifted my arm

I only felt pain

Tied down

Tight binds

Skin burning

Sliced

My breath escaped

My mouth

My heart stopped

Frozen.

A tear escaped my eye.

It would follow its own path

Down my face

And collect on my chin.

Day 251

The Aftermath

What's left behind
Is a wake
Of tears and pains
The ripple of which
Will roll on
Forever.

Day 250

I long to be free
To leave behind the
Insecurities
Prejudices
Preconceived notions
Rules & regulations.
I long to be free
To open my arms and
Embrace and
Fly and
Stretch and
Reach outwards.

Day 249

This happens to me more often than I'd like to admit. I'm somewhere that I can't get to a pen and paper, usually driving, and an idea pops into my head. Ooh, I like it. I'll jot it down as soon as I stop. Within minutes, I am stopped. Minutes. Yet, somehow the idea is now gone. Lost for all eternity.  So, out of that, this arose. It's so frustrating. Do you have any idea how many poems would've been written if I could only remember what the hell I wanted to write about? Who knows? One of them could have even been the next great American novel!


What was the idea that was just in my head?
It was there just a second ago.
How could I have lost it so soon after it came?
Yet, it is nowhere to be found.

Was it about love or loss?
Hope or despair?
Food or hunger?
Empty air?
Was it about poems or prose?
Life or death?
Friends of family?
Your last breath?

We'll never know what it could've been
For he ran away so quickly.

Day 248

For a Moment

There are moments
When the longing returns
As if it were yesterday
And the pain was still new.
Fresh. An open wound.

In those moments,
I love you.
I want nothing but to be sitting next to you
And to hold you.
Safe. Home.

There are moments
When I forget about the ending
And the reasons you left
And the reason I left.
Nostalgic. Wanting.

In those moments,
I think we could make it work
As if there was never anything wrong
And we were perfect together.
Happy. Comfortable.

There are moments
When I remember the poison
That I had in my veins
From that thing you said.
Hateful. Demeaning.

In those moments,
I think about the daggers
I always carried
Ready to lash out.
Defensive. Insecure.

There are moments
When I wonder what you would say
If you knew, really knew me
And all of the thoughts in my head.
Hurtful. Secretive.

In those moments
I regret everything.
I regret nothing.
I knew love with you.
Soft. Sweet.

Day 247

Him

I melt.
        an ice cube in the Arizona sun
I am helpless.
        a newborn bird high in its nest
I float.
        a piece of driftwood on the ocean
I am silent.
        a morning after a nuclear blast
I sink.
        an anchor to the ocean floor

Day 246

Two Four Six Eight
Hurry now! It's getting late!
Four Six Eight Two
We're here waiting just for you.
Six Eight Two Four
Call now! You'll get so much more!
Eight Two Four Six
We will be your top pick.
Two Four Six Eight
Supplies are too low to wait!

Day 245

Summer's End

The clock struck twelve on the last day.
As flames of fear consumed my skin,
I waited.
At once thrilled and petrified,
I waited.
It was the shortest day I'd ever known.
I waited.

Day 244

Child in the Morning, Adult by Night

I couldn't wait to be a teenager.
What little girl can?
With all their firends
And all thier parties
And all their clothes
And their boyfriends
And the prom
And college.

I couldn't wait to be a grown up.
What little girl can?
With all their money
And their late nights
And their sexy TV
And their weekends away
And their freedom
And their power.

Today, I got what I wanted.
Today, I skipped being a teenager.
Today, I became an adult.

Today, I learned that
I have to live with my actions.

Today, I learned about death.

Day 243

The River Changed Us

Within minutes,
the dock
was engulfed.
The spot where
I had fished
only yesterday
was gone.

Within minutes,
the blue
was erased.
The silt from
the delta
tie-dyed the water
with brown.

Within minutes,
tree trunks
were hidden.
The ancient bark
surrounded by
the water
was soggy.

Within minutes,
the bend
was straightened.
The sharp curve
that claimed
so many boats
was safe.

It was said that the waters
would recede.
It was said that the river
would be normal.

But we reveled
in this
new geography.

Within minutes,
our old lives
were history.

Within minutes,
we began anew.

Day 242

Get Out

These demons must be expelled.
They have destroyed enough.
The fabric they sought to tear
Has been shredded.
The walls they came to destroy
Are piles of rubble.

Day 241

House Music All Night Long

In a small dark bedroom
We played.
The beat was
Intoxicating
Uplifting
Enticing.
It drew us in.
The magic of the bass line
Vibrating our very existence.
We jammed
We sang
We beat
We danced
We laughed
We created
A moment that
Will never
Can never
Be repeated.

Day 240

She looks at the world
With the eyes of a child.
Perpetually curious.
Could she possible be
That fascinated
That enamored
That surprised
That confused
By things
She must have seen
A thousand times before?

Day 239.

Many Are The Days

The waves crash down
Slamming against the shore
Destroying the ground beneath
Evolving into a slow caress
Protecting the rocky sands beneath
Pulling back with verocity
Dragging the remains of
Millions of sea life
In its wake
Rejoining the ocean
Only to begin anew.

Day 238

This didn't quite turn out the way I envisioned it when I first set out to write it. I think I like it, anyhow.  I'm curious. What do you think it's about?


Dionysus brought the wine
Then stood in the corner.
He only said hello
When spoken to.
Dionysus brought the band
Then sat on the couch.
He only moved
When he had to.
Dionysus brought the food
Then stayed in the bedroom.
He only ate
When his sugars dropped.

Day 237

April's Diary

Locked away with a rusted clasp
Are the pages of her life
Forgotten long ago
In the back of a drawer
Among collections of pens,
Paperclips, locks and recipts
The pages that were
Life or death
Once upon a time
Now yellowed and faded
Sitting alone
Silent
A ghost of the life
She once lived.

Day 236

The Woman

Where the mountains meet the sea
There lives a woman
Far away from prying eyes
Unshackled from moral cages.

She has lived there for ages
And can't remember a time
When she knew another
Or another knew her.

Where the land meets the sky
There lives a woman
Held down only by gravity
Elated by the wind.

She smiles at the mountains
And cries with the sea.
She grows with the land
And expands with the sky.

Day 235

I don't have anything to say.
Distractions pull me away.

Day 234

A short and (hopefully) sweet one.


Drink me in.
I wil l intoxicate you.

Day 233

Dormant

And it will reveal itself
In the darkest spots
Where the urges are ignored
Where the spiders make their webs
In the shadowy crevices.

And it will thrive
In the dank recesses
Where the light can not reach
Where the mold blooms
In the abandoned corners.

And it will settle in
In the cozy nooks
Where the rotted stumps are
Where the flowers once lived
In the forgotten rooms.

And it will gnaw.
And it will seep.
And it will grow.
And it will wait.

Day 232

Today was one of those days when I just simply did not have a moment. Maybe I need to start stock piling poems on the other days when I do have moments.  :)



Time rolls on no matter what you do
Moving forward and on
With or without you.

Day 231

Although this is a short, seemingly simple one, it took quite some time to construct. Sometimes, they flow. Sometimes, I have to pull.


Beyond the cracked door
Hides the truth.
        {mystery
        {confusion

        {wisdom
        {fear

Day 230

I lost my smile
Somewhere along the way
It disappeared.
I'm almost sure
I felt it slither
Across my cheek
And down my throat.
It tickled my back
As it jumped
From my shoulder
And ran grinning
Out of sight.

Day 229

Crimson orbs peer through
Slits of black kohl.
Salty streaks part her makeup,
A mudslide of mascara and eyeliner.

Day 228

The sky settled down for the night
Dragging a paint brush in its hand
Leaving blankets of red orange and purple.

Day 227

The Panic Smothered Me

I couldn't breathe.
Gasping for air
At the deepest depths of the darkest ocean
An entire planet's gravitational pull weighing on my chest.

I couldn't think.
Mining for clarity
In the center of a maze where the only exit
Is obstructed by a thousands dead ends intertwined in a drunken web,

Day 226

Shudder

My hands shook.
I could not get a grip on the razor.
pick it up
drop it
pick it up again
just hold it
hold it still
just long enough
just long
damn it
pick it up
pick it up
pick
it
up
you can do this
I can do this
this
this
of all things
why the hell is this so hard
why can't I just do this
pick it up
pick
it
up
now hold it steady
steady.
My hands shook
with a million tremors.
The more I tried to
still them
the more they fought back.
It was a battle I could not win.

Day 225

Expansion

Her feelings had been spared for the last time
She knew this to be true
Her ego would be bruised, broken, destroyed
She knew it had to happen

She stepped forward into the line
Her insides shaking
She listened to the words they said
Her insecurities fighting to be heard

Her mind raced with the thougths of things to come
She felt a ghost of confidence
Her desire to spread her wings grew
She would no longer hide.

Day 224

Expressions

You reach out through your music.
That's the only way you can speak.
You reach out through your dance.
That's the only thing that stills you.
You reach out through your words.
That's the only way to silence the chatter.
You reach out through your humor.
That's the only way they'll take you seriously.

Day 223

Darkness

There is a place so dark
I can not bare to look.
Its blackness so solid
it crushes your soul.
Its depth so vast
there is no bottom.
Its breadth so wide
you can not reach its walls.
Once gazed upon
it can not be unseen.
Once touched upon
it can not be unfelt.
Once entered into
it can not be left.

There is a thing so dark
I can not let it see me.
Its eyes so sharp
daggers break your skin.
Its grasp so strong
you are paralyzed.
Its breath so foul
you can not breathe.
Once heard
it can not be quiet.
Once in motion
it can not be stilled.
Once fed
it can not be sated.

It will collect your
soul through your heart
and leave an empty shell
of what you once were
cowering in the corner

in darkness.

Day 222

A sad event happened today. Robin Williams committed suicide. My mind immediately went crazy with a variety of thoughts and ideas for today's poem. After all the backs and forths of which way to take this, this is where I landed. I've written many pieces on suicide from the point of view of the survivor. I don't believe I've ever attempted anything from the person who died. This is an attempt at that.


Desperation

Scratching on the wall
but no one hears
all you get is splinters under your nails
Knocking on the door
but no one answers
all you get is bruised knuckles
Screaming from the mountain
but no one listens
all you get is a sore throat.

Day 221

This may become more. I'm not sure. I like the simple visual and the idea that you (the reader) can decide for yourself what it is she is discarding.


She said goodbye
Before she knew what it meant.
It had never been real before.
She threw it away
Before she knew what it meant.
It had never had any value before.

Day 220

Perfect summer day
Ends with a perfect full moon
Stunning universe.

Day 219

The focus isn't so easy today.
Too many distractions pulling me away.
Such is the battle I fight every day,
To keep my mind from going astray.

Day 218

Wanderlust

You are never satisfied with monotony
                                      with the daily grind
                                      with sameness
You desire more from life
                           from people
                           from love
You long to run
                to leave
                to start over
                to find that inner peace 
                            that perpetually eludes you
                            that's just out of reach
                            that teases you with pleasures you need to experience
                                                     with love you think you never had
                                                     with understanding of the darkest parts of you

Day 217

And we're up to date!

The Bathtub

I stood naked in the bathtub,
Watching you through the window.
Something you did caught my attention,
So I looked toward you.
You were only trimming the branches,
But you were so focused
Like you were splitting atoms.
I loved you even more.

I stood naked in the bathtub
With the blinds open and the curtains pulled back,
Not caring who would see me.
All I cared about was you.
You turned toward the window,
But did not see me
As if I were invisible.
I longed for you to love me.

Day 216

Swirls of air
Spin and dance
Around the fire.
Fireflies of ashes
Flicker on their
Flourishes.

Day 215

Memories

Think think
Think think
Dig deep
Deeper
Focus
Think think
Think think
Reach through the wall
Feel around
Touch it
Grab it
Take it in your hand
Think think
Think think
Feel its weight
It is heavy with emotion
It will want to break free
It does not want to be known
Think think
Think think
Pull it toward you
Look at it
Examine it
Study it
Don't let it go
It will evaporate the moment you do
Think think
Think think
Make it yours
Like it once was.

Day 214

You will always be there for me.
You will always love me.
You will always support me.
You will begin to pull away.
You will begin to rebel.
You will begin to hurt me.

Day 213

Dear feet,
Run for me,
And I will feed you.
Work for me,
And I will wash you.
Support me,
And I will rub you.
Carry me
Where I need to go,
And I will love you.

Day 212

And Day 212

A home is more than a house
Or a collection of studs and siding and screws and nails
It's comfort.
It's work.
It's love.
It's pain.
It's accomplishment.
It's money.
It's peace of mind.

Day 211

Here's the one, I wrote on Day 211.

Roots run deeper
Than can be pulled
Stretching out beneath
The rocky and dusty earth.

Day 210

This is the actual poem that I wrote on Day 210, affectionately known as, "The Day The Computer Died".

My computer crapped the bed.
It's been trouble, but it's pretty much dead.
I'll try to fix it as soon as I can,
But my poems will be short
As I type with my finger.
(oh, and they'll suck, too.)

Day 210 (sort of)

On day 210, my computer died. I did continue writing, but I was unable to even log on to the blog to enter them, so I posted them directly to Facebook. At this time, I've started using an iPad. My intention is to copy & paste everything from Facebook, but I can't seem to do that at this time. :(

As soon as I am back to normal, I will post everything and make myself current.

Day 209

Humidity

When the air is thick
Everything is just a little quieter
Engine whirs muffled
Conversation percussion distant
Footfalls fewer and nearer between
Movements deliberate
Heart rates settled
Breathing slow and steady
Calm pervades.

Day 208

Bliss is...

Sand between my toes
And in my shorts
And down my shirt
And up and down my legsAnd in the bend of my elbow
And in my hair
And in my eyes

Day 207

Demolition of a Tree

One branch
Two branch
Three branch
Floor.
Four branch
Five branch
Six branch
Fence.
Seven branch
Eight branch
Nine branch
Stump.

:)

Day 206

Planning

Make the lists.
Check them off.
Start again.
Do this now.
Do that later.
Make the lists.

Day 205

I'm sure some of you will recognize this exact moment.


Et Tu?

The moment your favorite shoes
turn on you
You whole outlook on life
changes.
In an instant, that dull aching
pain in your sole
Becomes a sharp burning
pain in your soul.

Day 204

Shut it down
Cut it off
Wash them all away.
What troubles
Unsettle you
Are only of today.

Day 203

Make It Last

I can already feel the cold, crisp
winter air blowing on my neck.
The warmth of summer barely a flash in the pan.
The days melting away beneath my feet.
 

Day 202

Like Anna

Unable to be who she was.
Unable to do what she wanted.
Unable to feel what she pleased.
Trapped by everything.
Even her own thoughts.

Day 201

Simplicity

Breathe in the fresh air
Bring back life.

Day 200!!!

200

Two hundred poems in
Two hundred days.
Thousands of words in
Thousands of ways.
Hundreds of thoughts
From out of my head.
Sharing them all
Hoping they're read.

Some poems were silly.
Some were quite sad.
Some of them hopeful.
Some downright mad!
Some poems were stories.
Some in despair.
Some were dismissive.
Some full of care.

Two hundred poems in
Two hundred days.

Thank you for sampling
My word play buffet.

Day 199

Speak To My Poet

Speak to me so my poet understands.
Make it simple.
Make it smart.
Make it mean something.

Speak to me so my poet cries.
Make it sharp.
Make it cut through.
Make it hit a nerve.

Speak to me so my poet trusts.
Make it real.
Make it honest.
Make it lasting.

Speak to me so my poet feels.
Make it strong.
Make it passionate.
Make it beautiful.

Day 198

{this may or may not be considered a poem}


The Art of Driving

You must have complete knowledge and understanding of your vehicle.
You must know where your turn signals are, and how & when to use them.
You must not give up. You will get to your destination eventually.
You must not be afraid to make a move. Go for it.
You must not allow yourself to follow the pack of cars that are perfectly content trapped behind the slowpoke in the middle lane.
You must relax. Put on some tunes and enjoy the relaxing pace. Get to know your highway neighbors.
You must predict what everyone else will do and work around it. Always.
You must be aware of the road around you.
You must always plan an escape route.

Day 197

Red

A red dress billows around her,
Cascading out from her waist.
Waves of rich red satin
Pool at her feet.
The dress is clearly too long,
As she melts into the floor.
Her face is pale and serene.
Her lips are stained scarlet red.
Her eyes are darkened by the mascara
From the night before.
She stares through the window
Speckled with rain.
The street below, empty
Except for a single black car
Pulling away from her.

Day 196

Freshet

What of this wall you've built?
It stands on solid foundation
Fathoms deep.
It rises to the sun and moon
Heavens high.
It completely surrounds your garden
Miles thick.

What of this frozen land I walk upon?
It stretches out in front of me
Horizon far.
It is brittle under my feet
Crystal delicate.
It is slippery and treacherous
Oil slick.

I will travel and I will climb
Until you feel the power of my love
Melting the river
Creating a flood
Bringing down your wall.

Day 195

Silence

They had nothing to say to each other.
It was not the first time.
It will not be the last.

They sat, avoiding each others' eyes.
Both feeling guilty.
Neither was truly innocent.

They each wondered what the other was thinking.
Neither, daring to ask.
Both not making a sound.

They felt the history they had together.
It is what makes them want to leave.
It is what keeps them here.

Day 194

Eh. A short one today. I'm kinda spent.


Breathe in the air so deeply
That it hurts.
Let it fill your lungs until
They want to explode.

Day 193

Well, Picasso went through a "blue period". Guess I'm going through a green one. Here's another military inspired one.


Trauma

He'll never admit it, but
It happened.
He'll never tell you, but
He was there.

That's why his eyes are always on the move,
Scanning for something just beyond you.

The only job he's ever had was to
find and kill the enemy.
Ripped away.

Now he can not even shop for food.
The enemy could be around the corner.
Any corner.
Behind the deli counter.
The other side of the milk cooler.
 
He knows the enemy is here.
He just doesn't know what it is.
He used to.
It was simple then.

Awareness heightened.
Senses raw.
Emotions hidden, tucked away
In a locked box for safe keeping.
(does he even have the key anymore?)

A dropped box, an explosion.
A slammed door, a fired weapon. A loud sneeze, a death scream.

All violent reminders of...
....then.