Day 120

The decision was made
The consequences must be faced.
Even when the truth is revealed
There will be no turning back.
The road will be rocky
Almost impossible to pass.
Looking back showed
Nothing but a locked door.
Looking forward
Many more rocky roads
Many more decisions to be made.

Day 119

Regrets

I'm sorry.
For not noticing
For not seeing your tears
For not seeing your bruises.
I'm sorry.
For not understanding
For not reaching out
For not offering my hand.
I'm sorry.
That it has taken me so long
To even consider the thought
That you might have been hurting.
I'm sorry.
That you went through it alone
With no one to hold your hand
Or dry your tears and treat your cuts.
I'm sorry.

Day 118

Today's The Day

When she walked in the room,
She knew it would happen today.
Just knew.
Felt it in her bones
Her soul
Her heart.
There was a skip in her beat
A flutter in her veins
A lightheaded swirl of anticipation.

What she didn't know was
What it actually was going to be.
Will it be love?
Happiness?
A new friend?
An old friend?
A job opportunity?
An audition?
Love?
(Please, let it be love.)

As the day went on and nothing happened,
Nothing changed
No one came
Nothing happened,
She realized that the butterflies
Were not butterflies at all.
Just plain old anxiety.

Day 117

Watching the day go by,
Helpless to do anything about it.
Stand up
Sit down
Lie down
Sit up
Stand up
Turn around sit down.
Let it go.

Day 116

Passed the day in the most beautiful way,
With old friends and new.
Drinking since noon.
Eating since two.
Sharing the journey with all of you.

Day 115

Noise

The sounds are cacophonous
Blaring like daggers into my eardrums
Twisting
Forcing their way into my head
Exploding like fireworks.

Day 114

Create

Play the music.
Dance the dance.
Sing the song.
Paint the world.
Write the words.
Let it flow.

Day 113

I went for another "found poetry" thing today. This time I perused through the "missed connections" area of CraigsList and collected some stand out headlines. I have compiled them here for your enjoyment.

Missed Connection

James, brother of Chris,
You were riding a bicycle.
You were cute, I was awkward.
You pinky promised me
A drunken kiss in the street with a stranger, and then
I'm in PAIN - I need my doctor.
Papa!!!!!!!!!!




(Full disclosure - I did adjust the punctuation to suit the story. All of the copy is intact, though.)

Day 112

Growth

When I was little, I was teased.
I was insecure and awkward.
I didn't know how to speak,
How to say I didn't like it,
How to say I want to go home.
When I was little, I cried. A lot.
I wanted to run.
I wanted to hide.
My closet was my safety zone.

When I was a teenager, I stopped being teased.
I was still insecure and awkward.
I still didn't know how to speak,
How to say I didn't like it,
How to say I want to go home.
When I was a teenager, I cried less.
I didn't want to run.
I didn't want to hide.
My closet was still safe.

Now I am an adult, and I am not teased.
I am still fighting insecurity. I'm winning.
I am still awkward. It's my charm.
I can say what I don't like.
I can say I just want to go home.
Now I am an adult, and I hardly cry.
I don't want to run.
I don't want to hide.
My closet is for clothes.

Day 111

The quest for perfection will only end in failure.
The moment it seems within reach,
It only becomes more illusive.
A mirage in the desert
A ghost in the mirror
It can not be seen.
It can not be touched.
It can not be achieved.

Day 110

Inspiration

Ideas flow like a barrel over Niagara
Swept up by the current
Avoiding and hitting rocks at once
Over the edge
Plummeting down to its final conclusin
Exploding when the pressure of the
Surrounding water
forces the nails to give way.

Day 109

No time to write today
Now sleep is a-calling
Eyes keep closing
And head is a-falling.

Day 108

The Bowels Of Hell

What's that smell? What's that smell?
Vulgar and foul and straight out of hell.
I gag and vomit and gag even more.
If I know what's good, I'll close the damn door.

Close the door! Close the door!
I can't take anymore.
I've sprayed and cleaned and sprayed yet again.
Now the source of the smell is outside in the can.

Day 107

In honor of both Throwback Thursday AND the erratic weather of late, here is another one from my archives. This was also written at least 15 years ago.

Flux

The wind blows
We say yes
The wind blows
We say no
The rain falls
we believe
the rain falls
We don't
today is here
we're old
today is here
we're new
yesterday's gone
we stop
yesterday's gone
we go
tomorrow is soon
we cry
tomorrow is soon
we....

shudder to think of the possibilities.

Day 106

Just a beginning.....


When the day is long
And the thoughts are plenty,
In the landscape
of existence

Day 105

Rain is here,
it seems, to stay.
Pouring down,
falling all day.
If April showers
bring May flowers,
then garden will
explode, they say.

Day 104

Winter's Lament

Darkness permeates.
Light is nowhere to be found.
Time is limited.
Cold surrounds.

Happiness eludes.
Melancholy prevails.
Life's adventures are on hold.
From deep inside, she wails,

"Help me get through
Until the sun can touch my skin.
Give me the hope I need
To resume my life again."

Daylight emerges,
Inching its way through the grey,
Peeking from behind the clouds.
One at a time, she inhales its rays.

Warmth caresses,
Embracing her.
Sunlight smiles,
Welcoming her.

Day 103

Elusive

When my eyes are closed
And my mind beings to stir
It appears to me.
Not as a distant image
floating on the open sea
Masqueraded by fog.
It is right in front of me,
Secured at dock,
The skies are clear,
The sun shining down.

All I need to do is board.
If only I could find the gangplank.

Day 102

Circles continue to roll with all of their force
Downhill, Uphill and back
Continually moving forward
Holding the secrets of where they've been deep within
Ever moving, Ever rolling

Day 101

Unexpectations

It was not what I expected.
But then whatever is?
It caught me completely off guard
And blew me off my feet.
But then again what did I expect exactly?
The heavens to open up
Glorious beams of brilliant light to shine down
And angels to sing the hallelujah chorus?
It was more like a door ajar
A candlelight flicker
And the laryngitic whispers of a random lullaby.
Both abrasive and reassuring at once.
A new direction
A new perspective
An easy sort of thing.
None of the bells and whistles
The fireworks and excitement
The thrills and chills.
Just simplicity.
Just plain old, simplicity.

Day 100

For the 100th day, I present to you my version of an ode.

Ode To Poetry

The joy of crafting a phrase
Of working and manipulating
Words and thoughts
Until they say what
I want them to say
In the way
I want them to say it.

Stumbling on that perfect wordThat has each and every
Meaning
That not only portrays
The overt meaning
Of the message
But brings extra levels of
Depth
That were unexpected and unplanned.

Day 99

Before the words evoke
Before they are typed
Before pen flows on paper
Before a message is constructed
Before a thought is formed
There is the inkling of
The insinuation of
The air of
The hint of a feeling
That needs to be
Explored
Implored
Cajoled
And caroused
It may put up a fight
But, ultimately will cede
Graciously revealing itself from just below the tip of my tongue.

Day 98

Focus

There is peace within the chaos.
The hustle and bustle creates a din that
Surrounds and embraces.
There is anonymity within the hoards.
The scurrying all around creates
Blur and disguise.

Day 97

Tingles

Here it comes
               (for no reason at all)
Butterflies
Giddiness
A vague inner smile
That strange feeling
That something just might
               (go right)
A random optimism
It is within my grasp
The goal
The accomplishment
The love
But it won't happen
               (it never does)
What is it this time, anyway?

Day 96

This is a different  style for me. I sort of envision this as a spoken word piece. Maybe. 


This Poem Will Make You Younger
(and thinner, and prettier)

You see it when you walk down the street
You see it when you turn on the TV
When you watch a movie
When you read a book
A magazine
A newspaper
It's constant
It's everywhere
Even in the places that claim to be against it
Those women's magazines for the "mature" woman
The self-confident woman
The glamorous woman
It's even there

Youth.
Beauty.
Thin.

Look your best
Young at any age
What does 40 look like
50 is the new 30
Reduce your pores
Burn fat
Increase your metabolism
Remove hair Pain free
Thicker, healthier, shinier hair
What to wear when you're 60
What not to wear when you're 60
Lose 10 pounds in 10 days
10% more plumping action

My god. I need to change EVERYTHING about me.

There is no escaping the barage
We are creating a population of hairless, young, stylish, perfect, slim women.
(and maybe smart, funny & talented. but only just little)
Oh wait. Did I say women?
I meant girls.
We are becoming hairless, young, stylish, perfect, slim GIRLS.
When all the hair is removed
And the pores diminished
And the skin glowing
And the weight lost
And the lips plumped
We have been transformed into little girls.
Anything less (or more, as it were) is unacceptable and simply unattractive

What's a woman to do who thanks the universe every day she's blonde?
Because if it were brown, the world could see that the amount of hair on her body would be akin to an orangutan?
When that hair grows likes weeds on Miracle Gro after a long spring rain even the instant after it's waxed, shaved, Naired, plucked, lasered?
What's a woman to do who enjoys food and sleeps way too late that even the possibility of just a good stretch in the morning becomes completely unattainable?
What's a woman to do who is not 18 anymore?
Who has a few wrinkles and a couple of grey hairs?
Does she fight the years, deny her age, try to be 18 again?

Youth.
Beauty.
Thin.

We are all trying to be so young,
We forget how old we really are and
What that means, what that represents
What we've done to get here
And that just getting here should be satisfaction enough.
But it isn't.

Stay young
Look young
Feel young
Be young

It's no wonder men can't keep heir hand off of little girls.

Day 95

Meditation

A long drive on a quiet road
The mind calms
Energies focus
Lines disappear
Under the hood
Vacuumed away
Never ending
Each one gone means another one drawn
Somewhere further along
Miles ahead
Beyond the point
Where the road meets
Where it opens up to receive you

Day 94

Today's submission is another version of "found poetry".  During a game of "Cards Against Humanity" this evening, we were all tasked with creating a haiku from our cards. This was mine. I was quite proud of it. I even got the syllables correct. Mostly. The theme? Not even close.


Haiku Against Humanity

Sexy pillow fights
Lumberjack fantasies
Multiple stab wounds

Day 93

Today,  I thought I'd participate in "Throwback Thursday" in my own way. This poem is from at least 15 years ago. I had compiled many of my poems into one Word document (created on 7/2/1999).

I Am

like a mouse
in a glass cage
who can see all
that surrounds him
but doesn't know how
to get to it
i am.

like a bird
with broken wing
gazing at the glory
in the sky
that she once was
i am.

like the sun
that shines so brightly
on so many
but sheds darkness
on so many more
i am.

Day 92

The Path

She followed the path the man directed her to,
Fully trusting him.

She took her time,
Slowing to inhale the incredible perfume of
the earthy musk of trees
the fragrant bouquet of flowers
the crisp, clean air.
With every breath, lighter, freer.

She remembered something the man told her
Something about staying on the path
Or was it to not stay on the path?

She skipped forward,
She did have someplace to be, afterall.
trees taller than any building
grass of the brightest green
flowers in every color imaginable.
Every vista more breathtaking than the last.

She remembered something the man told her
Something about keeping her eyes forward
Or was it to keep looking back?

She spun around until she made herself dizzy.
The scents and scenes of the forest,
becoming a synesthetic blend of
lights, words, shapes, colors, numbers, smells
bombarding her senses
from the outside in and inside out
from the top down and the down to the top.
With every turn, alive.

She remembered something the man said....

Day 91

Crushing pain from the outside
insufferable
Pressing force from the inside
insufferable
Two opposing energies
balaced
Proving the need for the other.